Malik Imran Awan | Create your badge
Back to TOP

Follow malikimrana1 on Twitter

Search This Blog

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Good morning SMS


https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwFwpurkrY7HCiSJda0jpMaSDYjxLLDnwKyD86z4OOpA9sKdN8J9zabAXmpUQl3mO0SRoJl53dZIFHq16cWz0P9JZs4fviLB_QGmYvu-8H3vpMn_QhZOvOFesE5PAUG4tX-R7WVRAh9nQ/s320/Tears.jpg
The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..

Early this morning God gave me 3 baskets of fruits -LOVE + HAPPINESS + PEACE OF MIND and told me 2 share them with PPL Dear 2 me. I'm sharing all with U...Good Morning!

5 steps to a LOVELY MORNINGClose ur eyes, Take a deep breath, Open ur arms wide,Feel ur heartbeat, & Say " Its too early. Let me sleep again.

May you begin this day with a smile on your face, and with happiness for your soul to embrace. Good Morning my love

I just love when morning gets here, cuz i can send a Great Big Good Morning sms to my bestest friend.what a lovely way to start my day

Night has ended for another day, morning has come in a special way. May you smile like the sunny rays and leaves your worries at the blue blue bay

Hello, wakup, Receive my simple gift of 'GOOD MORNING' wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care!

Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Good Morning, it has a silent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!

The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good morning, hoping that you have the perfect day. Take care & miss you. Gd morning

Your soul came back from dreamland re-united with a sleeping senseless piece of yourself slowly open ur eyes realize its a brand new day. Good Morning.

The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..

Early this morning God gave me 3 baskets of fruits -LOVE + HAPPINESS + PEACE OF MIND and told me 2 share them with PPL Dear 2 me. I'm sharing all with U...Good Morning!


See outside the Window,Sun rising for U, Flowers smiling for U,Birds Singing for U, B'coz last night I told them to wish U G@@D Morning

Wishing u................ G Morning O Afternoon O Evening D Night hey, 4 in 1 SMS pack - I save the money.....................

Between a 100000 yesterdays& a 100000 tomorrows,There is only one today and I would not let this pass without saying thx 4 being such a lovely frnd... Good Morng..............


With petals of Roses,Palm full of Holly water,Light of Full Sun,Fragrance of Flower and Grass with dew.I wish u a very special Good Morning....

New Morning+ New Aim+ New Achievement + Ur Dedication + Commitment=Success...Just do it and win it Good Morning....


Never blame a day in ur life...Good Days Give u happiness..Bad days give u Experience...Both are essential in life...!!! All are Gods blessings!!!...Have a nice day...

Open ur eyes! So the SUN can rise,Flowers can blossom....Birds can sing,Bcoz all are waiting to see ur *B*E*A*U*T*I*F*U*L* @S@M@I@L@E@ Good Morning.....


Simple music can make u sing,A simple hug can make u feel better,Simple things can make u happy.Hope my simple Hi...!!!will make u smile ...Good Morning....


Always ask GOD to give you what you deserve,Not what you desire.Your desires may be few but you deserve a lot.... Good Morning..

Twinkle-Twinkle lazy star Kitna soyega uthja yaar, up above the world so high, sun has risen in the sky, uthke jaldi pee le _chai, then call me up and say HI


One day Monday went toTuesday to see Wednesday and ask Thursday wheather Frday has told Saturday that SundaY is a FUN day....Good morning...

SORRY.... SORRY.... SORRY.....SORRY....Dont get confused ,oh Ho SORRY means: S-Some,O-One Is,R-Really,R-Rememberinhg Y-You.....Have A wonderful day.... Good Morning

,_o/' Pleasant'l Morning!./LCHEER up and REJOICECoz every new day brings new Life....new blessings....new hope!Have a nice day! GUD-MORNING!

The smile is like a simcard and life is like a Cellphone,whenever you insert the Simcard of a smile a beautiful day is activated...

I was on a ship thinking of U... wen I looked down, I dropped a tear into the ocean.. Then I promised myself that untill someonenot finds it, I won't forget U... Good Morning

I have a pair of eyes but can't C U everyday....Have a pair of ears, but can't hear ur voice everyday....But I do have a heart... that cares for you everyday. Good Morning


Happiness Keeps U SWEET, Trials Make U STRONG, Sorrows Keeps U HUMBLE, Sucess Keeps You GLOWING. Wish u a lovely and sweet morning, Gud Day

Count many star on the screen.... * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ....Are Mamu subah ho gayi..Aaaila ab din mein bhi taare gin ne lage....Good Morning...

May your salty days be peppered with spicy love. May u bask in lemon sunshine, play on strawberry fields, under a vanilla sky.. in short have a Yummy day!

Wishing U...G MorningOODG O AfternoonODG OO EveningD G OOD NightSo overall have a Good Day!...

Dreams visit us when we r asleep but GOD is truly wise, he wakes us up each day & gives us every chance to make our dreams come true! Gud Morning

Difficultis in your life do not come to destroy u.... but to help u realise ue hidden potential & power. Let difficulties know the U R DIFFICULT. Good Morning

ôôôôôôôôôô ôôôô ô ôôô ôô ôô ôôô ô ôG ôô ôGOOôô GOODôô GOOD MOô GOOD MORNING..00:0300:0200:0100:00( ( ( ( ( ( BOOM ) ) ) ) ) )GooD MoRnInG *HaVe a NiCe Day!


Ugta hua Suraj dua de aapko, Khilta hua phool khushbu de aapko,hum to kuch dene ke kabil nahi hai,dene wala hazaar khushiyan de aapko!Good Morning!

A Sweeter Smile,A Brighter Day,Hope everything turns outgreat for you Today!!!Good Morning!(> " " <) Have a ( = 'o'= ) Nice _(,,) _ (,,) Day!!

I have a special BREAKFAST for you today,A glass of CARE,A plate of LOVE,A spoon of PEACE,A fork of TRUST and A bowl of PRAYER.GOOD MORNING

No one can go back &make a new beginning,but anyone can start from now and make a happy ending!Hope u'll have a day that starts right andends Happy! Good Morning

û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)(û)Sending 24 Smiles,1 4 each EaCh HoUr oF a dAy 2 MaKe SuRe u R aLwAyZ sMilinng...Good Morning and hAv a gReAt dAy....

MORNING SMILE makes the day(=( ;_; )=)B"E"T"T"E"Rthat the bestthing (;_;) we cando (;_;) (;_;) tomake (;_;) life easyGud morning!

A Sweeter Smile,A Brighter Day,Hope everything turns out great for you Today!!!Good Morning!(> " " <) Have a ( = 'o'= ) Nice _(,,) _ (,,) Day!! »

I have a special BREAKFAST for you today,A glass of CARE,A plate of LOVE,A spoon of PEACE,A fork of TRUST and A bowl of PRAYER.GOOD MORNING! »

No one can go back & make a new beginning,but anyone can start from now and make a happy ending!Hope u'll have a day that starts right andends Happy! Good Morning »


Sending 24 Smiles,1 4 each EaCh HoUr oF a dAy 2 MaKe SuRe u R aLwAyZ sMilinng...Good Morning and hAv a gReAt dAy.... »


Morning Time-A cup of hot hello,A plate of crispy wishes,a spoon of sweet smiles & a slice of great success specially for u...Enjoy the day!!!Good morning!!!.... »

Knock!!!Knock!!! May I come into ur world???i bring no flowers,No cakes,But wishes to keep U fresh,Prayer to keep u healthy,And love to keep u smiling...Good Morning.... »


http://images-1.redbubble.net/img/art/size:large/view:main/852379-2-frozen-tears.jpg

Read more...

Hindi SMS's

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyWuj3GOiBfAuAkND5w_mU93qhAEyJ7-vEVrBL0Kwb5AToDgYa8nMQREc4X56qcPisY5mvOODJAKPoRTplRLgq8SerHSiPuKhcaJzISxuYtCRUJCJ4UyNJiJA_RymR77FjuCa911rJMOifqtxi/s400/shattered_tears.jpg

Ek bandar ne apni shakal aaine mein dekh li aur usne suicide kar li, tum mujhse waada karo ke tum kabhi aaina nahin dekhoge plz plz plz promise me plz...


An
Elephant
Cow and
a Khota

Arguing whos the Best

Elephant:
I help move heavy loads

Cow:
I give milk
.
.
.
.

kuchh bol yar

Its ur turn now!


Chaiwala: Bholi si surat,Aankho me masti, Door khadi sharmaye, Hai Hai.
Ladki: Kali si surat,Hatho me kitli, Door khada chillaye chai chai.


U r miles
away from me.
Still im
watching ur everymovements by 3different
channels
1.Discovery
2.National Geographic
3.Animal Planet


A : u r Active
B : u r Best
C : u r Cute
D : u r my Dearest
E : u r Excelant
F : u r alwayz First
G : u r Great
Sorry cant lie till Z...


Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife-Koun Thi Wo?
Hus-Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hu ki woh bhi Yehi puchegi.


Laloo goes 2 a shop n asks: "Ye Bandarva ka Photu kitne ka hai re... ?" Shopkeeper : voh phutva nahi saheb" Woh to Seesa hai...!


Dil ko pata Tha woh zarur Aayegi, Dil ko Pata Tha Woh zarur Aayegi....Par kabhi Socha Na Tha ki... Surprise me KAMBAKHT Apna "Husband" Bhi saath Layegi!!...


Baharo phool barsao mera "DOST"aya hai. Hoto pe muskan, gali me mehak laya hai. Barso tak thi jise pani se "ELERGY" vo aaj "LUX" se nahaya hai.


Itne kamjor ho gaye teri judai se,
Itne kamjor ho gaye teri judai se
Ki saala ek din macchar hi utha le gaya charpai se.

Hothon se jo chhoo liya, Ehsaas ab tak hai
Aankhein nam hain, Aur saanso mein Aag ab tak hai,
Aur kyon na ho, Janaab...
Khaayi bhi to 'HARI MIRCHI' hai!


Log kehte hai pyar mein neend nahi aati
are koi hamse bhi pyar kar lo hame neend bahut aati hai


Zid apni naa chodi par,
pyar bhara dil tod diya.
kuch paiso ke liye zaalim,
tune sms karna chod diya.


Gadha jo khaaye wo Ghaas ho tum,
Buddhe ka Chyawanpraash ho tum,
Idiot, stupid, bakwaas ho tum,
Par jo bhi ho! Yaar! Dost Jhakaas ho tum.


College ki galion mein ajjeb khel hota hai,
Class ke bahane dilo ka khel hota hai,
Notes ki jagah luvmail hoat hai,
Isliye to Pappu har saal fail hota hai.


Ek aap ho ki sharmate bahut ho,
Ek aap ho kii itrate bhi bahut ho,
Dil to karta hai ki aapko Dinner pe ley javein,
Kambakht ek aap ho ki khaate bhi bahut ho


Pyar na rahe to wafa kaun karega,
Dost na rahe to dosti kaun karega,
Khuda salamat rakhe tumhe varna,
bandar ki tarah uchal-kood kaun karega


hum bhi dost tere lie TAJ MAHAL banaaenge..
Gaur farmaaiga..
hum bhi dost tere lie TAJ MAHAL banaaenge..
Ek cup shubah.. or ek cup shaam ko pilaenge


Dosti ka safar lamba hua to kya hua, thoda tum chalo,thoda hum chalenge,
phir.... rickshaw kar lenge


palkon pay apni bhitaya hai tumhain
bary duaon ke bhaad paya hai tumhain
aasani se nahin melay ho tum
international ZOO se chuarya hai tumhain


http://c2.api.ning.com/files/veMz9T-GfY4yJJyCLN1c8DmvdSQlctVTjbkiVtn9Q*vTJOWNWfkynGDnzEzSIMBJ5dSPZxPajw7CbDjlElfdAvUlHSdlx9tg/BloodyTears2.jpg

Read more...

Miss u sms

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/127/360561093_a1968f7f4d.jpg


Message: * some text missing* Sender:* Name Missing * *Number Missing *Sent: * Date missing * Missing U a lot thats y everything is missing....

Do u know, what i say, what i think, what i feel, what i think, what i wish, U want to know? I MISS U SO MUCH.

Wat makes some people dearer is not just de happiness dat u feel when u meet them but de pain u feel when u miss them.. MISS U........

I hide my tears when I say your name, but the pain in my heart is still the same. Although I Smile & Seem Carefree, There is no one Who misses you more than ME!

A B
C D
E F
G H
I J
K L
M N
O P
Q R
S T
V W
X Y Z
have I missed
something?
yes..
i missed "U"

If u wanna know how much I miss u,
try to catch rain drops,
the ones u catch is how much u miss me,
and the ones u miss is how much I miss

Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down...

Whenever I miss You, Stars falls down from the Sky.
So any day if you find the sky empty, don't blame me!
It's all your fault; You made me Miss You So Much!!

Close your Eyes,
Relax your Body,
And stop your Breathing as long as you can...
NOW BREATH......
I Miss you as much as YOU MISSED THE AIR!

In The Flower My Rose Is You,
In The Diamond My Kohinoor Is You,
In The Sky My Moon Is You,
I'm Only Body My Heart Is You,
That's Why I Always MISS YOU!


U must b tired coz u hv been running through my mind, u gotta b a thief coz u hv stolen my heart n I must hv been a bad shooter coz I keep missing u.

I MISS YOU in every beats of heart,
In every blink of my eyes,
In every second of Time and...
In every moment of the Day !

n ss!w ! ,n ss!w !
n ss!w ! ,n ss!w !
n ss!w ! ,n ss!w !
n ss!w ! ,n ss!w !
GOT CONFUSED!
OH!B SMART FRIEND:
ZARA MOBILE KO ULTA KAR K DEKHO

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T " " V W X Y Z.Did i miss something.No, i put 'U' safely in my heart

earth may stop rotating, birds may stop flying ,candles may stop melting,fish may stop swiming,heat may stop beating but i never stop missing u......

If u think i miss u all the time u r wrong i miss u only when i think about u but Damm it i think u all the time i miss u sweetheart

When you feel lonely press 989, when you feel sad press 22, when u need to talk, press 51008 when u press all these together, here i m for u always. Miss u a lot

Just Wondering..!
Wud U Smile At Me If I Smile At U..?
Wud U Say Hello If I Greet U..?
Wud U Talk 2 Me If I Talk 2 U..?
Wud U Add "Too" If I Tell U "I Miss U"..?
Dilbara Really I Miss U From The Core

To forget is heard to do, and to forget me is upto u, forget me forget me never,forget the text but not the sender.Miss you a lot

I heared some whisper ur name,but when i turned around 2 see u who it was , i notice i was alone, i realized it was my heart telling me that I MISS U

Under the sea, there lays a rock. In the rock, there is an envelope. In the envelope, there is a paper. On the paper, there are 3 words... 'I Miss You'

There are 24 hours in a DayNight, 10 hours for work, 8 hours for sleeping, 3 hours for eating, 2 hours for exercise and 1 hour for other activities, But all the 24 hours I do MISS U badly..

when i close my eyes before sleeping i watch u in the dark, When im sleeping i watch u in my dreams, When i open my eyes i found u before my eyes..And then I start Missing u for all the Day...


http://bipolarblast.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/180901tears1.jpg

Read more...

JOKES RIDE

http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2009/4/63%20Rodeo%20Fun.jpg
1 A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

2 Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?

3 Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

4 Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was
not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!

5 Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant
it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an
umbrella and go.

6 Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
gave 11cr after
deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
return my 20 Rs
back.

7 Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have
posted it....

8 Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died
peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the
passengers in the
car he was driving..

9 Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

10 Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

11 Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local
sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still
digging for more..

12 A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not
in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".

13 Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

14 Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.

15 Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

16 A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly,
"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

17 Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

18 A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said
another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

19 Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

20 Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

21 What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

22 Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?"


23 Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

24 As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

25 Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

26 What's the definition of lawyer?
The larval form of a politician

27 Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"

28 How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

29 once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the
weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

30 Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. "
When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?
(What Happened, My Son?)


31 The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, )
aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!

32 Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens .
because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died
'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

33 2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari
nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha
hai ki Reliance mai Job.

34 Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U
Continue to do so.

35 Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne
Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

36 .How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
ta ra ra.

37 A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess
what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

38 Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

39 Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character
thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya
hoga....???

40 Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki
break
fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

41 Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
Studies
Yaar...!!!

42 Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!
52
43 Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

44 Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

45 Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

46 Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

47 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

48 Man before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network
Follows."

49 Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!
gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI. ..

50 They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense

51 It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!

52 It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to
protect a country
BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ......KAAMWALI

53 After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Chcked 1st
patient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch
& finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI

54 What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a
positive side!

55 Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja.
Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya?
Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja!!

56 It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

57 A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

58 Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat.
Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.

59 Do sardar jee motor cycle per bomb lay kar jarahay thay,
Rastay main speed breaker ki waja say jhatkay lag rahay thay,
Sardar jee ka dost bola yaar aaram say gari chalao kahi bomb na
phatjain,
Sardar jee...Oo tussi fiker hi naker assi kay pass dosra bhi tu bomb
hay. :)

60 aik sharabi raatkay waqat apnay dost kay sath jaraha hota hay. rastay
main talab per nazar parhti hay tu us main us ko chand dikhta hay woh
apny dost say
kahta hay yaar ye kia hay.dost kehta hay chand hay. sharabi hairan ho
ker
yaar hum log itnay upper aagaiy

61 Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai
kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner. Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

62 A sardar calls another sardar on the phone & says "Hi, Main Bol Raha
Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain,Ithe bhi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

63 Ek pathan Cycle chalaty aur gungunaty howe kahin ja raha tha rasty
mein ek Aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli "Break nahi maar sakty thy kia ??? "
Pathan herat se... "Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida."

64 Burhiya:Aray dekho iss kambakhat maare ko mere sath larki ja rahi he
osse nahi dekh raha kab se mujhe taare chala ja ria he...!

65 Aadmi:Aray.. ! amma darasal ye kabaria he purana maal dekh raha he.

66 Ustaad: Bete, aap jab hanste hen to aap ke dimples parte hen aap bohat
ache lagte hen dil chahta he aap ko piyar karloon.

67 Bacha: Sir, mujhse ziyada dimple to mere ammi ke parte hen.

68 Aik lerki apny boy friend k sath nai garri main long drive par
ja rahi thi
achanak larki kehnay lagi.....suno !
kia tum aik haath se garri chala saktay ho ?
kioon nahi.....larkay ne bare fakher se garden akraaii...
larki ne aahista se kaha........ ..
"to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo "

69 Sardar : Apne bete se bola, Bevakuf...kaisa machis leke aaya hai, ek
bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu.

70 Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....

71 Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.."
Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main usey SURPRISE doonga..!"

72 Hum Ney Un Ki Yaad Main Ro Ro Kar Matkey Bhar Diye
Wo Bewafa Aye Aur Naha Kar Chal Diye

73 Neend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam ,
Shayad macharon ko bi mil gaya hai sanam

74 Tujh bin zindagi ka tasawar hi nehi hai ,
Tere sang ho zindagi aisa bi koi scene nehi hai
Iss dunya mein, tum he sab sey haseen ho
mein aur kahon jhot kitna, ke tum ko yaqeen ho

75 rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum
kio mujhey neend mein bi daratay ho tum

76 kal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par,
dil mien junoon tha...aankhoon mien khoon tha,
uthaya ussay masal dene k liye par khayal aya,
kambakht mien apna hi khoon thA

77 hi u all
i hv one puppy 4 u
1puppy 4 ur friend
1 puppy for ur fri ke fri
u know why???
becuz....... .....
ajj hi meray dogi nay 10 puppies ko janam dia hai

78 Civic VTI jisai kehete ho wo gadi tumaree hai
Jisey nokia 6600 kehte ho wo cell tumhara hai
Jinhai tum aamon k baghat kehte ho woh baghain tumharee hain
Kaho ik di kaho ik din
Ager sab kuch ye mera hai to sab kuch dedo ik din
Gari apni mujhe tum dedo cell dedo doosrey din
merey hathon mai kaghzat rakh ker dafa ho ik din
Dafa ho ik din dafa ho ik din...

79 dabe mein daba dabe mein kharghosh,
uncle nae ankh mari anute behosh...... :)

80 teen dost tha phalla patan dosra panjabe or tisra memon.Ramzan ka
maina
tha dostoo na bolaa ka yar zakat dana ha too app log kasa datta ho.too
phala dost patan na bolla ka hum khali maidan ma za kar gol paira
banatha ha or asman ma paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa paira ka bhair
zata ha
woo zakat kartta ha or zoo andar hotta ha woo humara hotta ha .fer
pajabe na bolla ka hum ak lakir kachtta ha or paisa ushal tha ha zoo
paisa
left hand par zatta ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo right hand par woo
humara.fer memon dost sa pucha ka woo kasa kartta ha too usna kaha ka
astag feroollha app log assa zakat kartta ho yea lakir fakir keya ha
hum
khali maidan ma zatta ha or asman ma husal tha ha zoo paisa asman ma
gheya woo zakat ka or zoo paisa necha aaya woo humara.

81 Admi Naai Se Meri TERE NAAM Wali Cutting Kar Do.
Naai Uski Tind Kar Deta Hai
Admi Ghussay Se Ye Kya Kiya Hai ???
Naai Main Kya Karoon Main Ne Dekhi Hi End Se Hai.

82 Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower
when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the
thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji
figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again
walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the
clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This
time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

83 A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he
feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The
lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm
waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front
of me, do you?"

84 Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

85 Safed saari par jab tum laalbindi lagati ho
khuda ki kasam ambulance nazar aati ho
farq sirf itna hai ke wo ghayal ko le jati hai
or tum ghayal kar jati ho

86 janab patan: eak dookan per jata hai aor kata hai40 wala chawal hai.
dukan daar: je hai
janab patan:eak kulo dado
dukan daar: je janab
janab patan : 40 wala chawal kitna ka diya hai.

87 Aik haseen-o-jameel adaakara ke ghar aag lag gaee ..aag par qabu panay
main 10 minut lagay.....aor. ......aag bujhany walon per qabu panay
main
40 minut lagay

88 Aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par phool daal raha hota he
Aur brabar men bhi aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par chawal daal raha
hota he.
Pehla Aadmi doosre se kehta he " Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab
uthe ga?"
Doosra dost:"Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga

89 uncle aik bachay se kehte hain : beta aik acha sa jhoot bolo agar
mujhe
pasand agaya to main tumhien paanch rupay doon ga
bacha masoomiat se : yeh lo ! abhi to das rupay kahay thay .... !!!!

90 aik dost dosray se : yaar har party mien tum yehi kurta kyun pehantay
ho
dosra dost : kyun ke yeh mera khandani kurta hai mere par dada ne
pehna
phir dada ne pehna phir mere walid ne pehna iss liye main bhi pehanta
hoon
pehla dost : ohh acha .. khier yeh batao k tumhari umar hogai hai
shadi
ki tum kartay kyun nahi ..kya koi larki pasand nahi ati
dosra dost : nahi yaar larkiyaan to bohat pasand ati hain
pehla dost : to phir kyun nahi kartay
dosra dost : yaar mere par dada ne nahi ki dada ne nahi ki mere walid
ne nahi ki to phir main kaise karloon ??

91 Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway
station ticket counter with two men ahead of him.
'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front.
He was given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.'
the second man asked & was handed a ticket.
Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!'
'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk.
'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh

92 The Equation:

7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!

93 Plan For Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.

94 Exams:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!

95 A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of
AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom

96 Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

97 Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives
us light only in the day time when we dont need it.

98 Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.

99 Waiter : Would you like your coffee black?
Customer : What other colours do you have?

100 My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

101 Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot.
Sam : It's a family tradition.
Teacher : What do you mean?
Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher : What about your mother?
Sam : She's a woman.

102 Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.

103 Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.

104 Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

105 Patient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor?
Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.
Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died.

106 Teacher : " Hello boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible."
One of the 20 Students: "Ok Sir, You please take out all the toothpaste and put it back into the tube again.

107 Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday, sametime."

108 Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office

109 A woman had 8 sons all named Kevin. On asking how she managed to call one in
particular
She replied: That's easy. I call them by their surname !

110 koi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli
chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola:
Lagta hai pahunch gai :-)

111 Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.
Wife observes the whole episode
Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife askes Why are you doing this?
Sardar replies: Doc told to check sugar level regularly

112 What is the full form of singh: S-sardar I-insaan N-nahi G-gadha H-hai.

113 Angry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga- mita dunga.
Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga.

114 Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.

115 Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha kya?
Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....."

116 Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge....think. ......... ...
"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"

117 Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.

118 A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK. I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.

119 Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.

120 Sardar jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek sardar jhad se ulta
latak ke gaane laga, dusre ne pucha ki ulta kyon latka he, Sardar bola oye side B gaa raha hun.

121 Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a ring?"
"Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?"

122 Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days
because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women.

123 One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a
building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh
your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" ....... since Sardarji was in panic.
Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window while comming down when he was near the
tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto.
when he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.

124 *** Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was
okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and
at last wrote - THUNK !!!"

125 a sardar was going on the road.Then he sees a man who has met with an
accident.so he picks him up puts him in his car and takes him to the
hospital.Then the sardar realises that the man should have brought by
ambulance.so he takes him back where he picked him
sardar was driving a car. Suddenly one tyre was puncher.he took spear tyre
and changed in the place of punchered tyre. but unfortunately he misplaced
the four screws to fit the tyre on its place . he was so confused ,,now
what to do,, a pagal(mentally retaired) person was watching this incident.
He came near to sardar and said," do one thing,, take each one screw from
the remaining three tyre and fit it in this new tyre.There after u can go
where ever u want to. Sardar was so happy and said aree yaar Duniya tume
pagal kahate hai lakin i dont think u are a pagal. pagal replied sir,, i m
a pagal but i m not a sardar.

126 Once a Sardar ji rescued 6 people from a house burning on fire;
But still the Sardar ji was jailed, why?
Because all the rescued persons were fire fighters

127 TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

128 TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!

129 TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

130 TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!

131 TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
JOHNY: George!

132 TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
L-JOHNY: Me!

133 TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

134 L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.

135 TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.

136 TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
L-JOHNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."
L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

137 Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? "
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday
sametime."

138 Question: There are 10 elephants swimming in a pond. A boy jumps inside and
swims underneath them and counts the number of legs.
There are only 36 legs.HOW??
Answer: One elephant was swimming BACKSTROKE!!

139 L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

140 Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is
green and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same
at home.

141 Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

142 Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did u copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

http://www.frenchfriends.info/files/funny_soccer.jpg

Read more...

Funny Definations

http://brownvboard.org/actvtybk/fun-1.gif

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree
and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.


http://www.deckchairdreams.org/images/fun.jpg

Read more...

Friendship SMS

http://static.open.salon.com/files/friend1231203588.jpg

For me U r as... Chees pizza.. passport visa... butter bread.. ice freezer.. cream cake... water lake.. leaf tree.. a FRIEND like u is ever me..!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Friends are like shoes, some loose some tight, some fit just right, they help u as u walk through life. thanks for being my size!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


F: FIELD of LOVE!..R: ROOT ofJOy!.. I: ISLAND of GOD!.. E: END of SoRROW!.. N: NAME of HOPE!.. D: DOOR of UNDERSTANDING! dats YOU my FRIEND..

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Science has proved that sugar melts in water,so plz don`t walk in the rain,
otherwise I may lose a sweet friend like u!!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


;";
;/ ("v""; /";"/
/;./ "v" './ %./
is not only made for lovers;its also for friends who luv each other better than lovers!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


A deep friend is like rainbow, when the perfect amount of happiness and tears r mixed, the result is a colorful bridge between hearts.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!
0
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep them. I may not have sacrificed enuf u... but in my HEART I swear I'm keeping U..

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each day is never a waste.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Its not an achievement to make 000's friends in a year, but an achievement is when you make a friend for 000's years.

To live a life i need heartbeat, have heartbeat i need a heart, have heart i need happiness, to have happiness i need a friend, and a friend i need U.ALWAYS


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Moon said to me, if ur friend is not messaging u why dont you leave ur friend.I looked at moon and said does ur sky ever leave u when u dont shine.


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Zindagi mein hamesha naye dost milenge, kahi zyada to kahin kum milenge. Aitbaar zara soch kar karna, mumkin nahi tumhe har jagah HUM milenge.


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Sweetness can be defined without honey.

Fragnance can be defined without Rose.

But, friendship can't be defined without YOU.
0

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Friend is one, who (Finds you in a (Rush of people, (Inspires you to do something in life, catch your (Emotions and (Never leaves you till (Death.


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Dard jitna saha jaye utna hi sehna, Kisi ke dil ko jo lag jaye vo baat na kehna, Milte hain hamare jaise dost bahut kam, Isline humse 'Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna'


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


As I saw ants crawl up the wall, I noticed that no matter how busy they are, they still stop and communicate with each other. I hope we can be like them.


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Friendship is not a big fire which burns all day. Its a small lamp, that burns till the last day of life.
0

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Medicines and friendships cure our problems. The only difference is that friendships don't have an expiry date.


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Friendship never speaks volumes, it never demands proof, it never has a happy ending too simply coz it doesn't end as long as friends r true, just like U!



If ur friendship be money, I'll be richest man. If ur friendship be pounds, I'll be heaviest man. If ur friendship be luv, I'll be luckiest man. But ur friendship is trust & I'm the happiest man


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Walk with me when ur hearts needs company, take my hand when u feel all alone, turn to me when u need some to lean on, coz I'm a friend u can always depend on


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Every morning when I open my eyes I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like u.Why should only I suffer!


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Heart beat are countless, spirits are ageless, dreams r endless, memories are timeless and a friend like u is Useless. Oops! Sorry Yaar, Priceless


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Dosti insaan ki zaroorat hai, dilon pe dosti ki hukamat hai aap k pyar ki wajah se zinda hain warna khuda ko bhi hamari zarorat hai..


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


FEW RELATIONS IN EARTH NEVER DIE..
Take first letter from each word of the above said statement & then u will get that unique word...
FRIEND :=


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Hamaare to daaman mein kaanto ke siva kuch nahin. Aap to phoolon ke kharid-daar nazar aate hain. Jahan mein kitne dost mile hume par sabse ache aap nazar aate hain..


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Leave SOMETHING for friend..

Never Leave FRIEND for something..

coz in life, SOMETHINGS will leave u but FRIENDS will always live with u..


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----


Tum banke dost aise aye zindagi me, ke hum ye zamana hi bhool gaye, tumhe yaad aye na aye hamari kabhi, par hum to tumhe bhulana hi bhool gaye.

http://www.rising-dragon.co.uk/catalog/images/titanic-love-heart-necklace.jpg
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Read more...

Come on, LAUGH

http://media.rd.com/rd/images/rdc/mag0709/men-women-laugh-out-loud-01-af.jpg

Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of
Women"?
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it:
"Everything"
and the book is titled: "What Women Want!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the
other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same


offence
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a
woman who loves him & a system to make sure that those 3 women never
meet each other!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my husband
is having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've
found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do u want from me,
sympathy?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Read more...

All Jokes For All

http://www.thanksgivingjoys.com/funny_pictures/thanksgiving_funny_picture_04.jpg

1.A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after


Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.



2. Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?









4. Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was
not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!



5. Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant
it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an
umbrella and go.



6. Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
gave 11cr after
deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
return my 20 Rs
back.



7. Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have
posted it....



8. Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died
peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the
passengers in the
car he was driving..



9. Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!



10. Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.



11. Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local
sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still
digging for more..




12. A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not
in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".



13. Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?


14. Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.




15. Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

16. A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly,
"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"


17. Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

18. A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said
another.

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."


19. Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"



20. Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

21. What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.



22. Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?"



23. Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"





24. As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"





25. Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.







26. What's the definition of lawyer?
The larval form of a politician



27 Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"

He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"



28 How do you recognize a Sardar in School?

He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.



29 once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

30 Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
(What Happened, My Son?)

31 The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)



32 Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.


'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'



33 2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari
nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha
hai ki Reliance mai Job.

34 Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U
Continue to do so.

35 Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne
Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.



36 How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
ta ra ra.

37 A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess
what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

38 Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.


39 Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character
thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya
hoga....???

40 Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki
break
fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

50 Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
Studies
Yaar...!!!

51 Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!

52
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

53 Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born



54 Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

55 Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

56 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions





57 Man before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network
Follows."



58 Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!

59 Sagaai hui... Shadi Hui... Biwi ghar main aayi... ghar SWARG ban

gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI. ..





60 They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is

love; after marriage it is self-defense





61 It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as

women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!





62 It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to

protect a country

BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ......KAAMWALI







63 After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Chcked 1st

patient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch

& finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI





64What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a

positive side!





65 Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja.

Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya?

Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja!!





66 It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.

It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered







67 A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.

A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..

A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!





68 Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat.

Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?

Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?

Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.


http://www.thanksgivingjoys.com/funny_pictures/thanksgiving_funny_picture_08.jpg

Read more...

Disclaimer :
All the postings of mine in this whole Blogspot is not my own collection. All are downloaded from internet posted by some one else. I am just saving some time of our Blogspot users to avoid searching everywhere. So none of these are my own videos or pictures. I Am not violating any copy rights law or not any illegal action i am not supposed to do.If anything is against law please notify so that they can be removed. Thanks
Malik Imran Awan

  ©Template by Malik.