Enjoy these Jokes

What is difference between Watch & Wife?
Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai, aur Dusri bigarti hai to chalu ho jati hai !
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Always listen to your wife.
She gives Sound Advice:
99% Sound and 1% Advice.
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A 50 yr old man asked wife: Do you feel sad when you see me running behind young girls?
Wife: No, not at all, even DOGS chase cars, but can't drive them !!!
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Hubby: Darling, years ago you had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
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Friend: He Bhagwan tu muje Dard de,Dukh de,Sare sansar ka Gum de,Kasht de,Takleef de.
Response by a friend: Baba pe itni saari demand Qn karte ho,BIWI maanglo!
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A woman is always right.
Sometimes confused, misinformed, rude, stubborn, irritable and even downright stupid.... but NEVER EVER wrong...!
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Why India did not qualify for the World Soccer?
Laloo 2 his P.A - Itne khiladi kyun football ko laat mar rahe hai?
P.A: Goal karne k liye.
Laloo: Susra, Ball to pahle se hi gol (round) hai aur kitna gol karenge